There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.

–Oscar Wilde

How to Destroy Bully Culture

Get punched in the face a little. Builds character. Stand up for yourself. Don’t cry.

But deep inside, it’s all, “One day, I’ll show you.”

And sometimes, you’re all, “One day, you’ll show them.” At least to yourself.

Because your heart was broken. Why you? Why anyone?

But, most importantly, why you? Is there something wrong with you?

I can assure you. There is nothing wrong with you.

It’s not what’s on the outside that matters, but on the inside we know that’s bullshit. It matters to the rich kids. It matters to the name callers. It matters to the haters. It matters to many of those classmates we sneak glances at. It matters to the kids who come to school to escape from home. The adults said one thing, but they lived another life. It matters to people who could make great things happen for us, kid.

I mean, yeah, philosophically it doesn’t matter. But it takes some children longer than others to figure that out. There are a lot of children with cars, in stores, reading labels, with very fine looking homes with very heavy fine looking utility bills, and writing and complaining about it all. There are kids in government, in newsrooms, making popular movies and comics.

It does matter to some people. And yes, we shouldn’t want to be friends with them, but, uh, that doesn’t help when we need to work with them, talk with them, or just live in the same place as them. When we can’t always change classrooms, schools, jobs, or neighbors.

The smart bullies know they’ve got us pinned, and they know how to keep us held down.

When did name-calling turn into the way we respond to bullies? Godless, zealot, racist, gun-nut, hippie, hipster, morons, idiots, assholes, bitches, jerks, and it can get pretty bad. Isn’t name-calling one of the many things bullies do?

It’s a big fucking barrel of monkey see-saw, monkey doo-doo.

We watch other humans and go, “Eureka! That’s how you do that.” Most of the time it’s great. Walking, talking, eating, drawing, reading, writing, math, science, faith, humor, music, dancing. These things are hard, but rarely a chance to hurt anyone but ourselves.

How about dealing with other humans? Man. That’s post-graduate shit. Too bad it’s so expensive. Some of us have the money. But, for most of us, that education is about taking hard knocks and hoping we don’t get permanent brain damage.

The problem is we try to be better, but someone else’s definition.

Stop trying to be “better,” better than everyone else, better than “certain” people, better than our parents, better than our enemies, better than the godless, better than the godful.

Start being the person YOU want to be. And when people make you feel bad for being WHO you want to be, stop, and listen. It’s time to sit in your desk and learn. That feeling is a teacher, and she just walked into the room with a big ass ruler.

You own this teacher and she’ll follow your first command.

So, if you tell her to beat up on that child that made you feel bad, she will. You just say the word. If you tell her to beat up on your heart, she will. And let me tell you, she loves her job. She will beat your heart or that kid until it’s dead or until you pull her back. And that’s not easy, as you’ll have to convince her that that’s not what you wanted in the first place, and that means convincing yourself.

However, if you sit down in your desk and tell her to teach you, she will. She will teach you lessons that you wished schools taught you. The lesson will be hard, and it will be long. But when it is over, you will have earned that A+. Oh yeah, because this teacher will keep teaching you with the same passion as her attacks until you are on the honor list or until you give up on learning and go back to hurting.

It will feel harder than anything you ever experienced.

Remember this. Your only other choices are to have her beat someone up with that ruler. She only knows your emotions and you. She can’t teach the other kids about anything; not art, not science, not faith, not love, not “common” sense.

Stop trying to be better. Teach yourself how to be the person you want to be. And listen to other people when you feel emotions from them. It’s how you cheat to get an A+. They emotions you get from other people are the same ones you’re sending out. Listen to them. That is the teacher made manifest. Learn and grow from them.

A lot of people get rich with D’s. And it’s hard to get rich once you start getting Cs. So, be sure you really know what’s valuable to you. Otherwise, you will lose control of the teacher.

But if you want to make the world a better place, you cannot accept a grade less than an A+, and the curve is always changing.

Study hard.

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